


Whirlwind of worry

by assasinduckie



Series: No words needed [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, Pining, wallowing in the pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:08:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24772165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assasinduckie/pseuds/assasinduckie
Summary: Roy notices Hawkeye hasn't been sleeping well, but she won't tell him why. His imagination gets the worst of him as he goes down a whirlwind of preoccupation.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell, Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: No words needed [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790185
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Whirlwind of worry

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is part of an ongoing series where I attempt to fill in the blanks the canon left us of this two lovebirds relationship. This story set's place about 10 or more years since the end of the anime/ manga, 8 or more from the epilogue. Specifically, about a week after my last fic "Sweet dreams".  
> Hope you enjoy!

She looked tired.

Hadn’t she slept well? Had she gone out with that guy again?

He had seen them walking to her apartment late the other night. He knew he shouldn’t be looking out like that, like a creep, but it hadn’t been on purpose.

Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea living so close to each other. Of course, that was a stupid thought, living just 4 blocks from each other was to ensure their safety not so that he could… I don’t know, look at her walking back home but without a handsome 2 meters tall guy that smiled at her like an idiot.

She had been tired the next day and made a comment about a busy night, which, really, it was his fault. He had provoked her, like an idiot. Then he had been in a foul mood all day.

But he knew he was being irrational. He had no right to control her actions outside of their work time. He couldn´t give her what those guys could. Still, she never went out with the same guy twice. He was sure of it. Nor she went out at all that often. And the jealousy incident had been last week so, why did she look so tired? Why did she kept getting confused about the papers he was supposed to sign? That was so unlike her.

He wanted to ask about it but this guy from central was visiting, and everyone was to be in their best behaviour. She would kill him if he made the guy suspect any sort of inappropriate closeness between them.

He waited until the guy went out to find some officer he wanted to talk with to give her a look and ask if she was feeling well. She looked at him surprised, so immersed in her thoughts he had to ask twice. And she seemed about to say something, but then heard the central guy talking loudly while approaching the office and instead gave him a curt nod.

So, he waited till the end of the day and gave a full show about staying late doing some papers so that they could talk alone but she left with everyone else, all her stuff cleanly set on her desk.

He was so confused. Was this something she couldn’t talk about? His head started to spin around out of control, and he found himself calling central, asking to talk to Grumman. He gave some excuse about the sending of a central guy to overview them being a sign of lack of trust for him but really, he wanted to know if he was doing alright… had he been sick lately? No, he was in perfect health and still had many years ahead of him, thank you very much. He didn’t need to worry, the fhurer wasn’t going anywhere.

He hanged up out of ideas. In an act of desperation, he called the Elric’s from a phone on the street. They were extremely surprised to hear from him. Had he dialled the wrong number, or maybe bumped his head against a wall? asked Edward. No, he was just calling to know how they were doing. Were they okay? What about the kids, where they okay? Of course, they were, why wouldn’t they be? Was there something they needed to be concerned about?

He felt stupid making them worry like that, and after convincing them it was nothing, and that he just was calling to chat, he ended up accepting an invitation to have tea sometime next week, even though he didn’t know where he would find the time to get out of the city.

He walked back home but then backpedalled and headed to madam Christmas bar. There he made enquiries about anything suspicious that had happened lately, but no luck. Then he finally went back to his apartment and stared out the window the whole afternoon, and late into the night.

Usually, she would walk her dog to the park that was a couple of blocks away, and though his house wasn’t exactly on the way there she always took the main street he could see from his balcony. But she didn’t this time and now he was crazy worried.

He barely slept. He went to work feeling tired and frustrated, having picked up the phone to call her a dozen times to then worry about putting her at risk. What if they had threatened her or something? If he hadn’t talked to him there must have been a good reason. But god, he hoped she would talk to him soon because he could barely stand on his feet.

When had this happened? He used to be able to go to work with zero hours of sleep, smiling and as perked up as if he had slept like a baby. Now he felt old on top of worried. She didn’t look any better, another sleepless night.

He had to find a way to talk to her. But he couldn’t think of anything. The lack of sleep wasn’t helping either. In the end he had to recur to the most basic of tricks.

When she was about to leave, uncommonly early again, he called her and gave her some papers, with a “I need you to take this one’s home and give them a look”.

She looked positively pissed off. Still she nodded and left.

Then, about an hour later, he called her from the office saying he had accidentally given her a paper he needed to deliver right away.

He could hear her cursing under her breath. Did he needed her to bring the papers back to the office? No, it wasn’t necessary. Her house was on his way to where he had to drop them. He could hear her suspicion, but she just said, “ok” and hanged.

He rushed to her house, looking over his shoulder at every turn he took. He wasn’t being followed, good. When he knocked on the door, she opened immediately and hand him the papers. Could he come in for a second? He needed to use the bathroom.

She sighed and opened the door fully, moving aside to let him in. When he got out of the bathroom he asked, just to make up conversation in which she could give him so kind of clue as to what was happening, “where´s Black Hayate?”.

And then she suddenly burst into tears.

He froze. He had never seen her cry like that. Then he started talking way too fast. “Is everything okay? What happened? Did someone hurt you? Was it the guy from the other night? Did he or someone threatened you?” But she kept shaking her head.

“He’s sick” she said, quite intelligibly, though Roy still managed to understand.

“Who?!” he almost shouted.

“Black Hayate” she said while covering her face, the crying slowly coming to an end. He was relieved. Then he felt stupid. Then he was worried again.

“What happened?”. She sat at the living room table.

“He keeps throwing up. He has barely eaten in three days. He throws up all night long and I don’t know what to do.”

“you haven’t slept in three days? “she said no with her head, visibly strained. “Where is he now?”

“He’s sleeping in my bed. I don’t think he has woken up since he stopped throwing up this morning.”

“You should have asked for a licence.”

“I can’t ask a licence for something like that! What’s the central guy gonna think of us???” He couldn’t contain a small laugh at the vehemence in which she said that. She looked at him scandalized.

“what’s so funny???”

“I thought you were being blackmailed! Or worse! That some guy had done something to you…” he realized he was talking to much and quickly added, “I’m just happy this is something I can help with.”

“How could you possibly help with this? “she asked dryly.

“Ouch!” he said, dramatically placing a hand next to his heart. “I’d talk with much more respect to the guy who’s gonna save your dog’s life.” She frowned at him but said nothing, waiting for an explanation.

“I know a guy, an alchemist, an independent one. His worked with animals a lot, specially dogs. I’m sure he can help”

“How come we haven’t gone to reclute him” she asked, still suspicious.

“Bah, I knew him from before, he hates the army, he would have never accepted and also he lived so far away… but I heard his closer to the city now. I’ll give him a call. He might not want to be a dog of the army, but he won’t be able to say no to a general” he said, with a smug smile.

“Lieutenant General” she mumbled under her breath. She looked a bit relieved but still unsure. “What kind of _work_ did he do with animals?” she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“it was nothing like that Shou Tucker if that’s what you´re thinking about. He was just like a doctor but for animals, studying their anatomies and such”.

“mmm” she answered. He could tell she was exhausted, and finally giving in.

“why don’t you go lay down with him? I bet he feels alone. I’ll take care of things” he was talking to her like you would talk to a child, but she didn’t seem to have any strength left to fight back. She growled at him but went to the room anyways.

“Wake me up after you reach him” she murmured as she passed him. He just smiled.

He was so relieved. His imagination had gone a little overboard, but still, maybe it was for the best. Now he knew what was going on, and Hayate would be fine and she wouldn’t cry like that again.

The next day, when everyone had left, Hawkeye approached with some papers for him.

“I need you to take a look at this. It doesn’t have to be now, it’s for tomorrow.”

“mmm” he answered, stretching his arms over his head, tilting back his chair. “and what if I don’t? Are you gonna start crying?” She gave him a fulminant look while mumbling

“it’s a common side effect of extreme exhaustion. Just look at them” and then she had left. He had waited until he was at his apartment to look at the papers.

While he was picking them up something fell from between them. It was a little paper flower, with the words thank you, written on one of the petals. She used to make them all the time when they were kids. She would write secret messages in them, silly things like, “I stole your pen” or “I’m making pancakes tomorrow”, and then hid them away for him to find them.

It was just a game. Another way of communicating, without her father’s attentive eye on them. He didn’t often think back to those times together. In his head, he had been too slow, too shy, too coward.

Could have he really done something to make things different for them, being so young? Probably not.

Still, he regretted it. All those times he had stood next to her bedroom door, while the master was asleep, too afraid to step in, or knock.

He had just stood there, like a freak. Listening to her breathing.

He had done it again, the day before. After talking on the phone and arranging everything, he had stood at the entrance of her room. He couldn’t help it.

It had been years since he last saw her sleep like that, so peacefully. But this time the door wasn’t half-closed, it was open. And he wasn’t scared. He was just too late.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! This was originally supposed to be a comedic piece, but that idea went south towards the end there. O well, I guess I’ll just keep the running theme of wallowing in the pain and regret.  
> If you liked this fic and would like to leave kudos or a comment, I’d really appreciate it!


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